First Day of School Tomorrow!

It’s the first day of school tomorrow. School, as in, work for me. I love teaching. I love school, actually. I hope you know the difference. I can feel it, can’t verbalize it. I also like the other things that come with teaching. Presenting, collaborating, sharing and sometimes partying.

Well, but right now, I’m thinking of none of those wonderful things. All I am thinking about is the kids. The kids who are being tucked in bed right now, so that they can make it on time tomorrow. Kids who will come tomorrow and be very quiet in anticipation of what is to come, taking their own time to open up. In a few days, it will be hard to tell that it was these same kids. Cannot help thinking about my first day of school as a kid each year. I was always quiet and shy, looking forward to seeing the familiar faces of my friends and some of my teachers. I loved school even as a student.

But, why am I so jittery? I have had butterflies in my stomach every now and then. At 9:00 in the night, my husband decided I should have chocolate and a glass of milk. It tasted yummy! But besides the calories, I don’t think it changed much on the inside of me. I also tried watching a movie to take my mind off it, but it turned out to be about a kid and his school experiences. I had to turn it off. It plunged me straight into work.

Okay, I will try going to sleep and dream about those kids. Have a sound sleep, kids. School is ready for you. And for me too!

Nature's Splendour

Sitting on the sunny, open waiting deck of the Snack Bar at Gull Lake Park in Gravenhurst, Muskoka! Two Butterscotch Ripple ice-cream cones are on their way. Right behind, is a sloped terrain going down into the water.

What I can see with my eyes, no camera can really record. It is the soothing sensation that is the catch of the day – the breeze caressing my skin and blowing wisps of my hair onto my face, a feeling of divine joy as I behold the pine trees so tall that the neck strains looking at the treetops.

I remember my favourite computer wallpaper that has an image of old, majestic trees with orange and red leaves, heavily lining a walking trail that is covered with fallen leaves. The picture seemed to gesture to the viewers to step on the path, crunching the leaves underneath and enjoying the shade and protection offered by the big trees on either side. Although autumn is not yet here – it is still August – and so I cannot see the colours of the image in this live vision in front of me, yet I am reminded of the splendour of nature once again.

The sky peeking out of the spaces between the tree trunks leaves no room for suspense. It is as if the natural surroundings are encouraging mortals to carry on, inspiring them with visions that make everything seem possible. The lake has an area marked for swimming, which I intend to explore one day. My fresh beginnings in the water are no longer disappointing, but are still far from being good. However, I am persisting and hope one day to be called somewhat of a swimmer.

A few minutes ago, I tried feeling the sand-and-gravel-bottomed water on the lakeshore with my feet. The coolness and texture was quite refreshing. When I was down there, I looked up to see my family waving at me, looking royal sitting at a height. A few kids are around with their families. A few elderly are sitting on the benches overlooking the waterfront at an inclined plane. The lake stretches horizontally and tapers into broad rivulets going behind thick bushes on either side. Width-wise, the lake is not too large. At the back, we do not see endless water. The border at the back is breathtaking with rocks and trees. These natural place-marks give a feel of an artificially created movie set – perfectly coloured, perfectly textured, perfectly organized and outlined – green, brown, grey, orange, beige; rocky, floral, lush, coarse and barren all at the same time; the animate and the inanimate providing a striking contrast and a wondrous effect.

Speechless

Here I am, sitting on a green wooden railing – very low and surprisingly very comfortable. It borders the parking area of the Muskoka Bay Park in Gravenhurst, Ontario. There is a big, old-fashioned bell in a little grey shed surrounded by flower beds on all sides. The white and red maple leaf flag towers over it resplendently making Canada proud. Right from where I sit, I see six houses on the other side of the road. The road is quite busy actually. In the last two minutes or so, there was only spell of ten seconds with no vehicle on the road. The houses are in the midst of canopies of luxurious trees and remind me of ‘Shimla’ – the popular summer vacation ‘hill station’ destination of Northern India. It is shocking to find this spot of glorious beauty in the middle of everything. True, everything about this town is very picturesque as it is, but this! This is like a pristine gem, untouched, uncontaminated, serene and simply gorgeous.

 

As I turn my back towards the road, I am faced with the amazing quietness of the lake, softly wrinkled in the breeze and beckoning onlookers to stay, to behold, to be calm. The sun is shining brightly on my notepad, making me see the shadow of my writing hand on the white paper. The green stretch of grassy area that separates my present perch on the railing from the lake is spangled here and there with some trees, swings, a slide, a covered sitting area and a couple of black iron benches. It is bordered by tall, lush trees on either side. The white cloudy tufts floating on the blue sky make the scene as if it were out of a painting.

 

My dad, visiting me these days from thousands of miles, is resting on a beach mat a few feet away from me, enjoying the sound of the rustling leaves and rippling waves. My husband is talking to some friends on a bench overlooking the water. I have tried sitting, lying, standing, walking in different parts of this small area, but am unable to get myself to speak. I am speechless. It seems as if I by speaking, I will break a rule – an unspoken, unmentioned rule – the rule of sanctity.

Swimming? Oh Man!

My first swimming lesson ever! Got this wonderful, full-sleeved, shocking pink swimming outfit, after a lot of search. Went in for the lesson with some apprehension but found a lot of others who were asking questions similar to mine. “Is this the first swim lesson of your life?” or “It’s about time for us, right?” Well, taking some courage by this fact, I went in enthusiastically. Prashant, my husband, was there too, learning with me.

Truthfully, I love water. I feel one with it. I am a Cancer. It is a water sign. I mean, who will swim if not me? I should feel like fish in the water – just as if it were my natural habitat. Except, that it turns out that I was the only one among the fifteen or so learners, who bombed the practice. I could not even get away from the wall while others were gliding and floating and kicking! I mean, it was the very first class. How could these people do all these things? How could the coaches even teach this Level thirteen-type stuff already?

Okay, so the hardest part for me is to actually get my feet back down once I have lifted (or tried at least) my legs to float in the water. I tried to get back down and was swayed in all different directions, almost twisted my ankle, trying to find foothold and opened my mouth in the process, which made me swallow this water. The darn water (which I love, I feel one with it) went to the wrong pipe inside my body and I started coughing, almost choking. The lifeguard stayed by me, trying to help, but soon waded away to more promising prospects.

So, I decided very firmly that I was going to stick to the wall area of the pool and learn how to stay under water for five seconds. And lo and behold, I was going down on my belly and lifting my legs as well! Except that my husband told me that I had lifted them only about half an inch above the ground. Infuriated, I decided to kick my legs while lifting them so they could all see, but hit my toes on the ground. They are still hurting. So, maybe I really was very close to the ground.

Anyway, I got used to this ‘wall’-end of the pool today at least. Next time, hopefully I’ll test different waters (hah, notice the expression!). My question for now is – how do you go down in the water, lift your legs and not feel like you’re going to hit the bottom? I asked my husband but he said he’ll answer tomorrow. He’s too tired today and has gone to sleep. Huh, acting like a pro already?

Gorgeous.

The rain was beating down the window panes hard and loudly just a few minutes ago. It is drizzly right now. Sitting on the dry side of this window, I am surrounded by the smell of coffee, baked goods and people. People of different kinds. People who are gazing out at the mundane beauty of the city, just like this philosophi​cal-looking couple next to me. People who are engrossed in their laptops or tablets, like this young Asian man in his blue t-shirt and jeans peering at his screen without batting an eyelid. People immersed in conversati​ons, like this duo of chatty girls - one blonde, one brunette - in their tanktops and shorts, and like this Oriental woman in a beige jacket speaking into the earpiece of her phone constantly and animatedly​.

The street that I see from my perch directly opposite a large french window is never empty for more than a few moments. The constant barrage of cars of all kinds and colors makes it a happening place. The sidewalks are buzzing with pedestrian​s who are all worthy of being given their own individual stories. But I am not going to think of what their stories might be, as I want to focus on my own. My present moment. My moment of observatio​n. Of consciousn​ess. Of expression​.

Across from the street are tall buildings that were not here three years ago when I started coming out to this particular cafe. I was looking into getting into the Masters program at the adjoining University of Toronto at that time. Who knew then that I would be sitting here one day, sipping French Vanilla flavoured coffee and working on my thesis? From this corner of the cafe I can see the artistical​ly architectu​red building of the Royal Ontario Museum. And to my right is a view of the varsity arena overlooked by the majestic CN Tower and a faint skyline of that part of the city. Gorgeous!

LOVE IS

Love is...

When I am comforted at night by your presence next to my side and fall asleep ever so gently... and then you stop talking and start laughing because I was too busy sleeping and did not hear a word of what you said.